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I’m not Joking

Feel like nobody listens to what you say? There are three actions you can use to be taken seriously.

  1. Take others seriously (meaning: Listen). We tend to talk more when it seems like other people don’t take us seriously, spending more time explaining what we mean by what we say. One way to be taken seriously is to listen intently about what the other person is saying.
  2. Talk less. I had a client who admitted that she felt like she talked a mile a minute but never seemed to be saying anything important. Through coaching, she learned to say a lot less and get to the point quicker. By talking less, she felt she was being heard more by others.
  3. Pick a topic and stick to it. Don’t talk about four or five different topics at the same time. What may make sense to you could be very confusing to others, so stick to one topic at a time.

Combine all three of these together to become a conversationalist that people will listen to. Listen to what others are saying then respond specifically to what they are talking about. Stick to that subject, and try to stay on point with fewer words.

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Leaders As Change Agents

“Everyone hates change,” is a common saying, but it’s not entirely accurate. We only dislike the changes we don’t like or understand. Leaders, however, need to be change agents. Organizations must change to stay competitive, and leaders need to be the ones to champion those changes.
Each change has the chance of affecting company culture, and each change can add stress to employees. The best way to help effect change is to make sure every person in the company understands why the change is happening. What are the positive benefits of the change? What challenges will need to be overcome? What will the end result of the change be? Answering these questions right away has the benefit of getting buy-in from more employees.

Check out my new book, Leadership for Introverts, for more leadership tips.

-Dr. Ty

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My Husband/Wife is Making Me Fat

Do you think your significant other is making you fat? Do you find that they “mistakenly” bring home your favorite fatty foods every time you try to go on a diet? Does it seem like, the more you try to lose weight, the more they want to go out to eat?

That may not just be your imagination. In situations like that, I would guess that your significant other is overweight as well. And, while they may not intentionally be trying to get you to gain weight, they probably are subconsciously. Some overweight people are very self-conscious of how they look, but they feel better about themselves if they are not the only one who has put on a few pounds. Your attempt to diet, however, is a stark reality for them that they are not as slim as they used to be. The response shows that they could use some emotional maturing, and counseling or coaching could help them.

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Relationships: Taking a Break

Opposites attract, and that is proven when an introvert and an extrovert get together. Introverts and extroverts in a relationship have the opportunity to discuss how they relax, or recharge. Extroverts love to be in groups of people, happily talking about nothing in particular. That is how extroverts recharge their batteries. The batteries of an introvert, however, will drain very quickly in the same situation. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries.

Time alone for an introverted parent, especially when young children are involved, is very important. Let’s say there is a family with one extrovert parent and one introvert parent, which is pretty common. The extrovert parent may come home to loud, rambunctious children and fondly imagine having some alone time for a bit. The introvert parent, however, may desperately need it to stave off insanity.

Communication is important. Introverts incorrectly assume that everyone knows they need to be alone at times. And extroverts sometimes don’t understand how important it is for introverts to have alone time. Introverts need uninterrupted alone time every day, and that can be difficult when young children are involved.

If this sounds like you, carve out some alone time. Then, when your batteries are recharged, have a conversation with your partner. Find out what they need for alone time or social time with you and friends. And discuss with them how you need alone time. Find a compromise. Remember, you are in this together.

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Entrepreneurs and Small Business: Do You Have an Elevator Pitch?

The elevator pitch is important in today’s business settings; it is a way to tell people what you do without spending a half hour doing it.

“I help people create their amazing tomorrow.” There are many different ways to create an elevator pitch, and everyone has a different slant on how to do it. Personally, I like the elevator pitch that makes the listener want to ask questions.  I could say that I am a business, career, and life coach, but coaching is still one of those professions that seem ambiguous. The elevator pitch should say exactly what you do in as few words as possible. A humorous pitch, if done right, works also. A local drain cleaning company has the pitch: “I get the **** out of your life.” Be careful with humor, however, it can backfire. Spend time creating the right elevator pitch. I would say it can be up to 60 seconds, but 30 would be ideal. You should include your business name at the end and have a business card ready to hand to the listener.

Developing an elevator pitch is extremely important for introverts.

We tend to get flustered when we do not have a reply ready to go (extroverts, ever ask a person what should be an easy question, but you get that “deer in the headlights” look back?). Developing your elevator pitch will not only give you something to say, it will help you be more comfortable in networking settings.

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Entrepreneurs: How to Have More Energy

As entrepreneurs and solopreneurs we tend to try to do everything ourselves.

But, as much as we want to tell our children that it’s true, we are not good at everything.

I would say the biggest change I made that has impacted my businesses has been admitting that I am not good at everything, and some things really drain my energy.

I love coaching; it is a great thrill to help my clients see a brighter future.

But I am so bad with numbers that I cannot even put receipts into my accounting software correctly. I used to dread the time when I had to input all those boring numbers so much so that thinking about it would sap my energy. Yes, it cost a bit of money, but hiring someone to take care of that part was such a relief that I feel like I am better at what I do because I am not worrying about that part anymore. What saps your energy? What would it really cost to hire someone else to do it? Picture yourself several months into the future. How do you envision yourself if you didn’t have to worry about doing that task anymore? If you feel a huge weight being lifted off you, it may be well worth looking into hiring someone.

Model attractive woman with exotic make up career job

What are the best ways to invest in your career?

“How can I best invest in my career?”

I have been asked that question many times as a career coach, and my first question back is “are you currently in your dream career?” The best first step to investing in your career is to make sure you are where you want to be. Are you truly happy in this career, or are you happy enough that you will still enjoy it in 5-10 years? If not, what does your dream career look like? What will you need to do to start down that path? What can you do in the next two weeks to take one step closer to your dream career? Ask yourself those questions, and try to answer them without rose-colored glasses.

And, as always, please contact me for a no-cost, no-obligation career coaching session by clicking here.

Tips To Grow Your Business

The best thing I ever did to help grow my business was to start working on my business in a consistent manner.

We work in our businesses every day. Without that, we wouldn’t be in business. But, a ship going fast in the wrong direction will not reach its target. Being busy just for the sake of filling up your day probably will not make you successful. Working on the business is just as important, if not more so, than working in the business.

I would say a minimum of 5% of your work week should be devoted to working in your business.

In fact, I feel this is so important that I have created five videos on how to successfully work in your business. You can find them, for free, by going to www.webishops.com and clicking on Success Planning. I started my coaching practice in 2015, but did not implement consistently working on my business until 2016, and it made a huge difference in the success of my practice.

But this isn’t just for businesses. Working “ON” is important for leadership, personal development, and pretty much every are of your life.

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Advice To New Entrepreneurs

According to the Small Business Administration, there are over 28 million small businesses in the US, 80% of which are self-employed or solopreneurs.

Approximately 85% of small businesses will not make it past the first two years, and approximately 85% of small businesses have no business plan. That number is too close to be coincidence. Plan for success. I have started several small businesses, and the two that were most successful were the ones that I carefully planned from the beginning. As a business coach, I see the lack of planning from my clients so much that I created a series of free “Planning for Success” Webishops (webinar/workshops located at www.webishops.com) to help entrepreneurs understand the importance of planning for success. Of course, things never go according to plan. So planning for obstacles, and ways to get around them, can help you succeed that much more.