Tips to Make Arguments More Productive.

We are all tempted to say things in the heat of the moment that we know we should not say.

Our feelings are hurt, and we want the other person to know how hurt we are. But lashing out at the other person will only make the situation worse. It will quickly change a heated discussion into an argument, and nobody wins an argument.

There is one trick that can diffuse an argument before it even starts. It’s the “I hear…” defense. When someone gets angry and lashes out, respond with something like “I hear that you are upset.” They may agree and lash out again. A great response could be “you seem very upset by that.” What you are doing is acknowledging their anger without feeding it. In fact, this defense usually calms the other person down because they have no more fuel for their fire. Then, once they are calm, you can start to present your side of the case. This defense will take time to master, but will make you a great negotiator whether it is in your marriage, a business deal, or with relatives over the holiday table.

Run Away!

Fear is one of the most powerful motivators to humans. We “live in fear” sometimes, and advertisers know that producing fear can stimulate buying. the fear of scarcity is common in advertising.

But fear in life, or in business, is counterproductive. Fear will block success, and the path to success is overcoming those fears.

This article in Entrepreneur Magazine is a good read on how to overcome fear, but there are some things I would add:

Point 1: This is good, but in order to face your fears, you need to see the reality of them. Don’t change a Chihuahua fear into a Rottweiler fear (yes, I like dogs), and don’t change a Rottweiler fear into a Hound of Hell fear. See the fear for what it really is. Chances are, that fear is a lot smaller than it seems.

Point 2 is spot on, but point 3 is just an extension. However, a good thing to do is to occasionally step back. I have the habit of finding a direction, laying tracks, and going down that direction like a supersonic train. But, sometimes it’s the wrong direction. Take pit stops, and make sure you are still going the right direction.

Points 4 and 5 are excellent. Never give up. The only way to fail is to not try. Look for my #Webishop on this.

-Dr. Ty

One Thing That Can Change You From A Manager To A Leader

Change how you ask questions. That is one thing you can do right now to become a better leader. Questions are the lifeblood of coaches. Specific, thought-provoking questions propel a conversation.

This article in Inc. Magazine talks about the one question to stop asking employees. What I like about the article, however, is that it offers substitute questions at the end of the article. It is well worth reading.

You Are What You Think About

I have heard many times the saying “show my your friends and I will show you your future.” And, I would agree that it is generally true, but why have you chosen those friends? The better saying would be “show me what you think about and I will show you your future.” What you think about will dictate the friends you have, the things you do, and where you go in life.

This article in Entrepreneur talks about how complaining rewrites your brain, and I agree. I work with homeless people, and there is one common theme about 99% of the homeless people I have met: They complain about everything. Try to say something positive about a situation and they will either turn it around or change the subject. Their minds are so set on negativity, so set on knowing that they will never get out of the situation they are in, that they won’t.

Change your life by changing the way that you think. One technique that I have used with some coachees is what I call the “New Me.” Whenever a negative thought comes into your mind; be it complaining, putting yourself (or someone else) down, anything negative, say to yourself “that is the old me. That is who I used to be. I choose not to be that person anymore.” Then follow it up with a positive spin on that thought.

This is not always easy, so, if you are having difficulty with changing the way you think, please contact me. I would be happy to help.

-Dr. Ty

Success Planning Webishops Are Here

What’s stopping you from making 2017 the most successful year you have ever had?

What is stopping you from making this year the most successful year you have ever had? I’m not just talking about money, I’m talking about the way you feel, the way that you look at yourself.

So what’s stopping you? Do you need to create a new vision? Perhaps you need to figure out a new mission statement. Maybe you would like solidify your core values, or even define exactly why you are doing what you are doing. Why is the core of everything you do. If you don’t know why, keeping passion and commitment becomes much more difficult during the day-to-day grind.

But what if it’s something else? Have you heard about visions and missions and strategies many times before, but you still have never actually done one? Is there something inside that is stopping you from being more successful than you are? Is there a fear? Possibly a fear of failure, or even a fear of success? Both of those are very real concerns. If that is the case, please contact me. I would be happy to talk to you more about it.

Welcome to the Success Planning series of #Webishops (Webinar / Workshops). This series is five Webishops, and each Webishop has a secret in it. Some are being told during the Webishop, and some you get to figure out. But each Webishop has a secret that you don’t normally get told about each subject. For instance, your strategic vision statement should have an end date. A strategic vision, be it a family vision, business vision, team vision, should have a date it is to be accomplished by.

And, of course, the Webishops start with Why. Why are you doing what you are doing? This Webishop is out now. And, depending on when you are reading this, the next four Webishops in this series will be released approximately one month apart. www.webhshops.com is the only place you will be able to find these videos for up to 90 days after they are published. After 90 days they will be released into the wilds of YouTube, but for the first 90 days, only people that go to www.webishops.com will be able to watch them.

What is planning for success? What does your bright future look like? Why does it look like that? What needs to happen to make it a reality? And When will it happen? That is exactly what these Success Planning Webishops are about; they are about planning for your success, whether your success is determined by having more money, being happier, having more free time; whether your success is business, personal, family, team, organization, that doesn’t matter. This series of Success Planning Webishops can work with any of that.

I am hoping that these Webishops will help you be more successful than you ever have in the past.

Here are the five Success Planning Webishops:

  • What is your Sizzle? Why do you do what you do? What are you passionate about? What gets your brain going? What gets you up in the morning? If you don’t know exactly what that is, it’s very important to figure it out.
  • What do you believe? What are your core values? Are they written down? Do you use them when making tough decisions?
  • What does your amazing tomorrow look like? What is your vision for the future? Is it strategic and compelling?
  • What do you do? What is your mission? Is the old style of mission statement right for you, or do you want to try a Twenty-First century variation?
  • How are you going to get there? What is your strategy? Is it mapped out? Are you looking for obstacles before you hit them?

Each Webishop will not be available on YouTube for up to 90  days after they are available on Webishops.com. Be among the first to implement the new ideas you will get from them.

But if what I said in the beginning caught your attention, if you really are wondering if there is something internal stopping you, and you are not sure what it is, and you need to break through it, you need to get unstuck, contact me. I am doing these Webishops because I am a professional, certified business and life coach. I am giving you the tools you need to accomplish each subject, but I am here if you need more help. Together, we will schedule a free, no cost and no obligation, strategy session so we can see if we are a good fit.

I will see you at the next Webishop!

-Ty

The Gift

The Gift.

Do you like gifts? Do you feel the same as you did when you were a kid? Do you look at the wrapper with anticipation, knowing that, whatever might be underneath it, even the mystery produces anticipation?

Or has time dulled the excitement? Is a gift just another item that you probably don’t want or need? Are you already trying to figure out how long you have to display it before you can get rid of it, even before you have unwrapped it?

I know you are probably imagining the upcoming Christmas season (October is only days away, and some stores already have Christmas items up), but not all gifts come only during holidays.

The future is a gift. It is covered, there is no way to know what it holds, and it is waiting to be unwrapped. How do you look at the future? Is it like a kid, with excitement and anticipation? Or does a sense of dread surround it?

However you currently look at the future, it is wrapped up. There is a ribbon around it, and a bow on top. But how does your future look? Is it dull, like looking at it in twilight? Or is it bright and shiny, like looking at it on a summer’s day? How does it feel? Is it wrinkled like it was carelessly wrapped? Or is it smooth to the touch? Is the ribbon a bright color? What is written on the wrapping? Are there words of promise and wonder, giving you a sense of excitement at what it holds?

The future is a picture in your mind of what might happen. The past is set in stone, it cannot change. The future whatever you want to make of it. The present is the time to start making those changes so your future can be unwrapped in new, bright, amazing ways.

-Ty Belknap

#brightfuture #thegift #lifecoach

Benefits of Life Coaching

Life Coaching Has Many, Many Benefits.

In the past, it was thought that life coaching was only for business executives. But today you can find parenting coaching, relationship coaching, and many other subsets of life coaching all over the place.

But what are the benefits of life coaching?

A Life Coach offers guidance toward better fulfillment in life. They can be a catalyst for change. Change that can bring about higher self esteem, greater confidence, empowerment and fresh ways of thinking. A life coach can help you to focus on what you want out of life and what you want to achieve.

Time wіth a lіfе соасh is a safe place to talk about реrѕоnаl and private hopes and fears, and hоw often do wе gеt a сhаnсе fоr that іn this day аnd аgе?

A life coach is a person who will dеvоtе their tіmе to lіѕtеn tо уоur соnсеrnѕ аnd troubles, and ask probing questions to help you overcome them.

Finding the right life coach may not be easy. Look for a life coach that has certificates with a well known organization (a degree in life coaching may be even better, but people with life coaching degrees are rare)…

>>> Read more about the Benefits of a Life Coach here.