We are all tempted to say things in the heat of the moment that we know we should not say.
Our feelings are hurt, and we want the other person to know how hurt we are. But lashing out at the other person will only make the situation worse. It will quickly change a heated discussion into an argument, and nobody wins an argument.
There is one trick that can diffuse an argument before it even starts. It’s the “I hear…” defense. When someone gets angry and lashes out, respond with something like “I hear that you are upset.” They may agree and lash out again. A great response could be “you seem very upset by that.” What you are doing is acknowledging their anger without feeding it. In fact, this defense usually calms the other person down because they have no more fuel for their fire. Then, once they are calm, you can start to present your side of the case. This defense will take time to master, but will make you a great negotiator whether it is in your marriage, a business deal, or with relatives over the holiday table.
Your mission answers the question; what do you do?
And it begs the question; is that really what you do? Mission is a part of doing. Your mission is part of the action. For example: Let’s say John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt works in a factory. He stands at a conveyor belt. His job is to put nuts and bolts into compartment B of a container so the product that this company makes will have all of its nuts and bolts for the customer when it gets shipped out. And when people ask, he says: “My job is to stand at a conveyor belt. I’m putting nuts and bolts into container B and that’s what I do all day long. It’s kind of boring, but…”
Your edict should be designed after your mission statement, not instead of your mission statement. Yes, your edict may replace your mission statement, but it is easy to mess up an edict if you do not have your mission defined. Listen to the Podcast to find out more!
I have always enjoyed helping teams to work more closely together.
And it doesn’t matter if the team is a family, group of volunteers, or a business team. One of my favorite activities is: “If you only knew…” Everyone sits in a circle and one person at a time starts with “if you only knew me, you would know that…” and reveals something that the group in general may not know. I encourage the first round to be fun or silly. Then, the second round would be more serious. I have found that, every time, people that thought they had nothing in common found that they weren’t so different. This activity works in large or small groups, men and women, and I have used it with teen groups as well.
There is a basic difference between a boss and a leader. A boss uses his/her position to get others to obey them while a leader uses his/her influence. A person does not need to be a boss in order to be a leader. A leader can lead from behind, especially when there is a weak boss. Have you ever been in an organization where the person that runs a department is not the boss, but just another worker?