Is Your Partner Future-Oriented?

You may not want to hear this, but if you are with a person who refuses to talk about the future, then there is a good chance you are with a person who does not see a future with you.

It will not do any good to push them to talk about it; in fact that may make them more distant.

However, talking about the future is vitally important for a long-term relationship. Every person has their own ideas about what they want, whether it is: Jobs, vacations, personal time together, or even the house they want to live in.

But it’s not just that. The language you use, and your tone, can convey a lot. I coached a couple who got into a lively conversation about the house each wanted to live in. I had to stop myself from laughing, because they were each describing the same house, but they were not listening to each other, so their conversation kept getting more heated until I had each of them take turns. They discovered the truth once they started listening to each other.

So, don’t just talk about the future, listen to what your partner is saying. They may want exactly the same thing, but they could just be using different words.

Are You A Different Person Than You Were 10 Years Ago?

“People don’t change” is a common saying, but a person changes a lot over time. Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? Do you make decisions the same way you did, and feel the same about everything that goes on?

Our personalities are mostly a culmination of beliefs that we have formed based on events we have gone through in the past. So, yes, our personalities can change over time as we experience new things and attach beliefs to them. Most changes will be subtle and may not even be noticeable. Some changes, however, can be drastic, especially if a person witnesses a traumatic event or the event directly happened to that person.  But there are some things that will stay the same as well.

For instance, imagine an extrovert at a party that goes terribly wrong. That person may never attend that kind of party again, but it will not make them an introvert. Likewise, an introvert may go to “the party of a lifetime,” and have the best time they have ever had at a party, but that will not make them an extrovert.

But change is a fact of life, and we can take advantage of those changes. I knew a police officer who responded mostly to domestic violence calls. He admittedly became very jaded against people, until he started to learn that domestic violence is a generational issue (meaning most people that are violent against their families were abused as children). The more he learned, the more he wanted to help end this generational “curse.” He eventually started counseling men who committed violence against their families.

Once his beliefs changed, his personality changed. Do you have limiting beliefs holding you back from Your Amazing Tomorrow?

Are You A Problem Solver?

“You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want,” – Zig Ziglar.

Small business owners will not keep their businesses going for long without income and cash flow, but we sometimes forget that our ultimate goal is to help people. By helping more people we will be more successful. So, don’t worry about the money, it will come.

You can be more successful, whether you work for yourself or for someone else, if you figure out how to solve the problems others have. The more problems you can solve, the more successful you are likely to to be.

Motivation

I’ll Get Motivated Later

Motivation is vitally important to success.

Success generally happens when a person gets unstuck, and it is the motivation to get unstuck that can start a person down the right path. But motivation itself will not make a person successful; it is taking action on that motivation. The reason why many people who go to a motivational seminar get pumped up, but three days later are no better off than they were is because they did not take action on the motivation.

So the next time you start to feel motivated, act on it. And determine what you can do to stay motivated so you can continue to take action. Did you see something on TV that gave you a great idea? Shut the TV off for a bit (no, you won’t die). Write your idea down, and write down three things you can do to work toward your idea.

THEN find one thing you can do within the next 24 hours to take action on that idea. Accomplishing one small task will give you a small win, and that may help you get motivated to work on the next task.

And be sure to watch the Success Planning Series of #Webishops at www.webishops.com.

Don’t Believe Everything You Read

Statistics can be skewed

Inc. Magazine recently published an article about note taking. The basis of the article was a research paper that concluded note taking on computer was not as good as note taking on paper for recall purposes.

There have been several studies about this lately. Other research studies show that, although taking notes using pen and paper very slightly better recall, the differences were not statistically significant. However, several other factors such as: correct punctuation, sentence structure, and recognition were statistically higher using a computer.

new years resolutions

No More Resolutions

Forget Resolutions – Create a Shared Vision In Your Relationship

New Year’s resolutions are like going to a dentist; it seems productive at the time but a month later nothing has changed. So forget resolutions. Instead, get with your partner and create a vision for your shared future. Where do you want to be/say/do at the end of the year that you cannot be/say/do now? How can you work together to make this vision a reality? What is one step you can take now to get closer to that vision? Then, once that step is done, get together and figure out the next step. Not only will this make you feel better (you are creating small successes with each step accomplished), your relationship will be stronger at the end of year because you worked together.
And please contact me if you need help creating that shared vision.
– Dr. Ty

Podcast: Developing Your Strategic Vision – Success Planning Webishop #4

Your Strategic Vision | Where Are You Going?

What is stopping you from creating your compelling strategic vision? Is it:

  • Time?
  • Money?
  • Help from others?
  • Fear?
  • Knowledge / information?
  • Something else?

I would say that fear is the #1 reason more people do not accomplish the visions for their lives. Fear can be crippling, it can be devastating. For introverts, the fear of knowing we have to leave our safe havens and go socialize can be a huge reason that stops us. We can use the other items on the list as excuses, but most of the time it boils down to fear.

Watch this and other Webishops at www.webishops.com.

The book Leadership for Introverts is due out early 2018.