There is one thing you should know about yourself before you get into a relationship with another person: Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
This question is vitally important because, depending on the answer, it can make or break the relationship. Introverts process internally, and they need time to themselves throughout the day. Social settings tend to drain their energy. Extroverts process externally, often talking out what they think about. Alone time can be boring and energy draining, and they love being in crowds.
It does not matter whether your potential partner is the same as you; what matters is that you recognize which they are and which you are. Two introverts (or extroverts) can live a great life together. However, if you are an introvert, like me, and you happen to hit it off with an extrovert, like I did with my wife, life will take you down a wondrous journey. But the one thing that has kept our marriage together is understanding, and complimenting, the differences between us.
Financial differences are one of the top reasons people get divorced; and financial issues will rarely, if ever, cause a divorce.
These two statements may seem to be at odds with each other, but they are not.
It is not the finances that cause conflict, but the meaning each person puts behind the finances. One partner may see money as a way to go on vacations, buy new clothing, and go out more often. However, the other partner may see money as a way to save for retirement and the feeling of security that offers. Every person equates money with a certain feeling or set of feelings, and it is those feelings that cause strife between partners in a marriage.
There is one reason why finances can negatively affect a marriage: When both people are not on the same page. And the number one reason both partners would not be on the same page would be a lack of communication. Chances are, if money is a negative stress factor in your marriage, you have not had good discussions on money. Remember, marriage is about compromise. You do not have to agree on everything, but if you can come to a good compromise on how you handle finances, your marriage will grow by leaps and bounds.
The biggest business lesson I learned as an entrepreneur is that there is no such thing as a solopreneur; meaning you cannot do it alone. Everyone needs help. You may be great at designing a better mouse trap, but that does not mean you are great at marketing. And if you are great at marketing, you may not be great with finances. Nobody can do everything a business, even a one-person operation, requires.
What is the biggest business lesson you have learned?
One of the best traits of successful entrepreneurs is the follow-through.
Some entrepreneurs are always out looking for the next great thing, but they sometimes forget to look at what’s right in front of them. As an example, an entrepreneur might be looking at a way to break into online shopping without realizing that the brick and mortar store they have could turn into a great franchise opportunity.
Resist the temptation to go in a certain direction just because it’s what’s hot right now. Doing one thing to the best of your ability will generate much more success than doing several things in a mediocre way.
One of the most common mistakes I’ve seen over and over with entrepreneurs and small business is a lack of branding.
As an example, a local flooring company has billboard ads and banner ads on web sites; they advertise in local newspapers and they have their web site. They do a great job of advertising across markets, but every ad is different. The look, feel, even the coloring of each ad is different. The company has a logo, but they don’t use it in every ad, and some ads have colors that clash with their logo colors. Make sure colors compliment the logo, and always use the logo. I would say to always use the same font as well, but definitely do not use multiple fonts in the same marketing piece. Be consistent, branding is vitally important whether you have a small business, are an entrepreneur, or even if you have a coaching practice.
Have your logo displayed on all advertising. If you don’t like your logo, hire someone to develop a new logo for you. Do you not have a logo because “nobody can create what I want”? What’s behind that? Are you a bit of a perfectionist? Maybe you need to let it go. Give the designer free reign to develop something. And don’t automatically say no to everything. Get the opinions of employees, friends, even customers before you say no.
Once you have your logo, keep the colors the same and use complimentary colors on everything you do. Coloring is as much a part of branding as the logo. The more you make everything the same, the more people will start to recognize your particular brand.
You may not want to hear this, but if you are with a person who refuses to talk about the future, then there is a good chance you are with a person who does not see a future with you.
It will not do any good to push them to talk about it; in fact that may make them more distant.
However, talking about the future is vitally important for a long-term relationship. Every person has their own ideas about what they want, whether it is: Jobs, vacations, personal time together, or even the house they want to live in.
But it’s not just that. The language you use, and your tone, can convey a lot. I coached a couple who got into a lively conversation about the house each wanted to live in. I had to stop myself from laughing, because they were each describing the same house, but they were not listening to each other, so their conversation kept getting more heated until I had each of them take turns. They discovered the truth once they started listening to each other.
So, don’t just talk about the future, listen to what your partner is saying. They may want exactly the same thing, but they could just be using different words.
“People don’t change” is a common saying, but a person changes a lot over time. Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? Do you make decisions the same way you did, and feel the same about everything that goes on?
Our personalities are mostly a culmination of beliefs that we have formed based on events we have gone through in the past. So, yes, our personalities can change over time as we experience new things and attach beliefs to them. Most changes will be subtle and may not even be noticeable. Some changes, however, can be drastic, especially if a person witnesses a traumatic event or the event directly happened to that person. But there are some things that will stay the same as well.
For instance, imagine an extrovert at a party that goes terribly wrong. That person may never attend that kind of party again, but it will not make them an introvert. Likewise, an introvert may go to “the party of a lifetime,” and have the best time they have ever had at a party, but that will not make them an extrovert.
But change is a fact of life, and we can take advantage of those changes. I knew a police officer who responded mostly to domestic violence calls. He admittedly became very jaded against people, until he started to learn that domestic violence is a generational issue (meaning most people that are violent against their families were abused as children). The more he learned, the more he wanted to help end this generational “curse.” He eventually started counseling men who committed violence against their families.
Once his beliefs changed, his personality changed. Do you have limiting beliefs holding you back from Your Amazing Tomorrow?
“You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want,” – Zig Ziglar.
Small business owners will not keep their businesses going for long without income and cash flow, but we sometimes forget that our ultimate goal is to help people. By helping more people we will be more successful. So, don’t worry about the money, it will come.
You can be more successful, whether you work for yourself or for someone else, if you figure out how to solve the problems others have. The more problems you can solve, the more successful you are likely to to be.
Motivation is vitally important to success.
Success generally happens when a person gets unstuck, and it is the motivation to get unstuck that can start a person down the right path. But motivation itself will not make a person successful; it is taking action on that motivation. The reason why many people who go to a motivational seminar get pumped up, but three days later are no better off than they were is because they did not take action on the motivation.
So the next time you start to feel motivated, act on it. And determine what you can do to stay motivated so you can continue to take action. Did you see something on TV that gave you a great idea? Shut the TV off for a bit (no, you won’t die). Write your idea down, and write down three things you can do to work toward your idea.
THEN find one thing you can do within the next 24 hours to take action on that idea. Accomplishing one small task will give you a small win, and that may help you get motivated to work on the next task.
And be sure to watch the Success Planning Series of #Webishops at www.webishops.com.
Forget Resolutions – Create a Shared Vision In Your Relationship
New Year’s resolutions are like going to a dentist; it seems productive at the time but a month later nothing has changed. So forget resolutions. Instead, get with your partner and create a vision for your shared future. Where do you want to be/say/do at the end of the year that you cannot be/say/do now? How can you work together to make this vision a reality? What is one step you can take now to get closer to that vision? Then, once that step is done, get together and figure out the next step. Not only will this make you feel better (you are creating small successes with each step accomplished), your relationship will be stronger at the end of year because you worked together.
And please contact me if you need help creating that shared vision.
– Dr. Ty