Tips to Make Arguments More Productive.

We are all tempted to say things in the heat of the moment that we know we should not say.

Our feelings are hurt, and we want the other person to know how hurt we are. But lashing out at the other person will only make the situation worse. It will quickly change a heated discussion into an argument, and nobody wins an argument.

There is one trick that can diffuse an argument before it even starts. It’s the “I hear…” defense. When someone gets angry and lashes out, respond with something like “I hear that you are upset.” They may agree and lash out again. A great response could be “you seem very upset by that.” What you are doing is acknowledging their anger without feeding it. In fact, this defense usually calms the other person down because they have no more fuel for their fire. Then, once they are calm, you can start to present your side of the case. This defense will take time to master, but will make you a great negotiator whether it is in your marriage, a business deal, or with relatives over the holiday table.

What Is Your Mission/Edict? Success Planning Webishop Podcast #3

Your mission answers the question; what do you do?

And it begs the question; is that really what you do? Mission is a part of doing. Your mission is part of the action. For example: Let’s say John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt works in a factory. He stands at a conveyor belt. His job is to put nuts and bolts into compartment B of a container so the product that this company makes will have all of its nuts and bolts for the customer when it gets shipped out. And when people ask, he says: “My job is to stand at a conveyor belt. I’m putting nuts and bolts into container B and that’s what I do all day long. It’s kind of boring, but…”

Your edict should be designed after your mission statement, not instead of your mission statement. Yes, your edict may replace your mission statement, but it is easy to mess up an edict if you do not have your mission defined. Listen to the Podcast to find out more!

The book Leadership for Introverts is coming out early 2018. Keep updated at www.leadershipintroverts.com.

#successplanning #LeadershipForIntroverts #missionstatement #edict

Team Building Activity

I have always enjoyed helping teams to work more closely together.

And it doesn’t matter if the team is a family, group of volunteers, or a business team. One of my favorite activities is: “If you only knew…” Everyone sits in a circle and one person at a time starts with “if you only knew me, you would know that…” and reveals something that the group in general may not know. I encourage the first round to be fun or silly. Then, the second round would be more serious. I have found that, every time, people that thought they had nothing in common found that they weren’t so different. This activity works in large or small groups, men and women, and I have used it with teen groups as well.

Boss vs Leader

There is a basic difference between a boss and a leader. A boss uses his/her position to get others to obey them while a leader uses his/her influence. A person does not need to be a boss in order to be a leader. A leader can lead from behind, especially when there is a weak boss. Have you ever been in an organization where the person that runs a department is not the boss, but just another worker?

Work from home career entrepreneur

Working From Home: Handling The Unexpected

Tips On How To Tackle the Unexpected When Working From Home

Working from home provides a unique set of distractions. One big distraction is getting sick. When working at an office, it is possible to call in and stay home for the day. But, when you work from home there is quite often the urge to work anyway. There may be a feeling of guilt for not working from home when sick. However, if you don’t take care of yourself you may end up being sick for even longer.
Another distraction that can affect your entire day is a sick child. Imagine knowing that there will be an important phone or video conference that day. And, of course, your child will need you in the middle of it.  Consider hiring a babysitter for a few hours if your day has important appointments, or if you have work that requires your attention for a long period of time.

The largest distraction that I have found in working with small business clients, however, is the television.

Everyone needs a break from work, but a television show can’t be watched in 10 minutes, so a short break turns into a half hour of television watching. Then, during lunch, you may decide to watch one show in a series and end up binge watching for most of the afternoon. But, how can you not watch TV when it’s so easy? Maybe make it less easy. Make sure the room you work in does not have a TV. Or, unplug every TV in your house and don’t plug them back in until the work day is done. You could even purchase a timer that sits between the wall and the TV that is scheduled to shut off electricity to the TV during certain times of the day. Figure out what would work best for you, and start developing a new habit of not watching TV.

We offer specialized career coaching and entrepreneur coaching at MyCoach.Life. Contact me for more information.

– Dr. Ty

What Do You Believe In? Success Planning Podcast #2

What do you believe in? What are your Core Values?One common definition of core values is: Core values are commonly held beliefs and commitments. However, core values are personal, so you could say that your core values are what define you, or what define your business. Most people and most businesses have arbitrary core values. They have not specifically defined their core values. so those values can change based on how you or the business is doing or on how the CEO feels.

But that could be a recipe for disaster. As an example, let’s say you get a job offer from a company that wants to give you a larger salary and a signing bonus. That may seem amazing on the surface. But you could be very unhappy in that job if the company’s core values are different than yours.

Click here to the Core Values Webishop or get the Core Values worksheet.

Have you listened to the first podcast, Success Begins With Why?

And keep a lookout for my new book, Leadership for Introverts, coming early 2018.

Gorw Your Business

The Best Thing To Grow Your Business

Working On Your Business To Grow

The best thing I ever did to help grow my business was to start working on my business in a consistent manner. We work in our businesses every day. Without that, we wouldn’t be in business. But, a ship going fast in the wrong direction will not reach its target. Being busy just for the sake of filling up your day probably will not make you successful.

85% of all small businesses fail in the first 18 months according to the Small business Administration.

And, 85% of all small businesses do not have a business plan. Coincidence? I think not. Working on the business is just as important, if not more so, than working in the business. I would say a minimum of 5% of your work week should be devoted to working in your business. In fact, I feel this is so important that I have created five videos on how to successfully work in your business. You can find them, for free, by going to www.webishops.com. I started my coaching practice in 2015, but did not implement consistently working on my business until 2016, and it made a huge difference in the success of my practice. Working on your business, even for just a few hours a month, could make a huge difference in your success as well.

Dr. Ty Belknap, ACC Professional Business Coach
Twitter: @mycoachty
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mycoach.life

Avoiding Management Problems

Everyone thinks in different ways, so there will always be personality clashes. It is a fact of life. However, the number one way to avoid, or lessen, management problems is effective communication. Lack of communication causes a good percentage of the problems in organizations. It leads to frustration, irritation, and stress. Effective communication will get everyone on board and make them feel like they are part of the team.

Communication is so important that a recent Inc. Magazine article ranked lack of communicating a vision as one of the top 7 reasons employees quit their job (https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/7-reasons-the-best-employees-quit-even-when-they-like-their-job.html). Having happy, productive employees is another way to lower management problems, so communication across the organization is vitally important.

One Thing That Can Change You From A Manager To A Leader

Change how you ask questions. That is one thing you can do right now to become a better leader. Questions are the lifeblood of coaches. Specific, thought-provoking questions propel a conversation.

This article in Inc. Magazine talks about the one question to stop asking employees. What I like about the article, however, is that it offers substitute questions at the end of the article. It is well worth reading.

A Simple Tool For Success

There have been many studies on how our brain works, and how we remember. Most of those studies agree that we remember, on average, less than 20% of what we hear, but almost 70% of what we write. In this Inc. Magazine article, Tony Robbins says that writing something down will not help your memory, but will help your commitment to getting something done. And the commitment to persevere is a core value of success.

-Dr. Ty