Action Steps

The word “goals” almost makes your chest tighten and stress levels rise.

The knowledge of so many past goals that have failed may even lower your self-confidence.

So stop making goals.

Create a vision for your future instead. What do you want to be able to say/do/feel about yourself that you cannot say/do/feel now? Get as specific as you can. Don’t just say “I want to lose weight,” nobody likes to lose anyway. Turn it to a positive, like “I want to be able to fit into size ** jeans,” or “I want to eat 2 healthy meals a day and work out 3 days a week.” Don’t make your vision out of reach.
After you have your vision down, create action steps. What is one small thing you can change now to get one step closer to your vision? Is it changing one junk food snack into something healthier? Is it planning a 10 minute workout once a week? Start small. All the past failures may have eroded your confidence. Small successes will help to build it back up.
And if it doesn’t work, don’t consider it a failure. Figure out what went wrong, what you can do to overcome that, and try again. As long as you keep trying, you are not failing.

I Hear You – What does it mean to be a leader?

The word leader has been getting some mixed definitions lately.

A leader is simply a person who has influence over other people. A leader is not necessarily a manager. A manager is a person who is hired to manage employees. Anyone can be a leader, but it is not easy to be a good leader. A good leader will listen to the advice of the other people in the group and act on that advice. Of course, you cannot please everyone all the time, but a good leader will always do what is best for the group in general. And the only way to find out the needs of the group is to listen.

Learn more Introvert Leader skills by reading Leadership for Introverts.

Perfect is the bane of good enough

We all like to have things just right.

But perfection is the bane of good enough. It is almost impossible for anything to be perfect, so ask yourself why you are obsessing over things that others may not even notice. If you are trying to impress someone, is perfection worth the stress it creates? Or do you intentionally nit-pick everything so you can avoid certain people that show up? What is behind the perfectionism? What would life look like if you did not have the need to make everything perfect? Would it ruin your day; or would it actually give you the chance to relax and enjoy it more?

Failing to plan

How are you at planning?

I had several failed startups before my latest two entrepreneurial ventures, which have been very successful. The main thing I did different these last two times was planning. According to the Small Business Administration, 85% of all businesses will fail in the first 18 months. And, 85% of all small businesses have no plan. I do not think that is a coincidence.
There are steps entrepreneurs can take to better those odds. Start by working on your business. There are five basic questions you can answer that could make a huge difference in the success of your endeavors. They are: Why are you doing what you are doing, what are your core values, what is your mission, what is your strategic vision, and what is your strategy? Working on your business, especially when starting out, is just as important as working in your business. That is why I have created a series of free webinar/workshops (I call them Webishops) to help entrepreneurs at www.webishops.com. These Success Planning Webishops help you to answer each of those five questions.

But the videos are just a taste of what you can find in the book Leadership for Introverts.

Leadership for Introverts book cover

Leadership for Introverts Book Excerpt

Here is an excerpt of the book Leadership for Introverts:

Introverts and extroverts are very unique personality types, and the way each type thinks is vastly different.  If you are reading this book, you either consider yourself an introvert, or you want to understand introverts more. Either way, you are at the right place.

Many introverts are happy with the way they are. And if you’re not, that’s your problem – Matthew Hutson.

This world is full of loud sports events, loud parties and loud traffic. It’s full of open office layouts, big gathering holiday events, and more meetings than you can shake a stick at (is there more of anything than you can shake a stick at?).

Group brainstorming, in-person networking, and social networks are the norm. This is an extroverted world, or so the extroverts would have us believe.

But, according to recent studies by Meyers-Briggs and in scientific magazines1, over half the people in the world are introverts.

“` For Extroverts: Can you spot the introvert?
Introverts, raise your hands (yeah, right!). Extroverts would be surprised at how many people are introverts because we have learned to act at being extroverts. Extroversion is expected in the United States, as it is expected in most of the western world. “`

Just about any team that gets formed will have introverts and extroverts, but which type is the better fit to be a team leader? Extroverts are quite often chosen to lead because they are the ones to speak up first. And introverts, by nature, are willing to let someone else lead even when they have more knowledge and skills because it will mean that they don’t have to stand in front of a group and talk.

But, the job of the leader is not just to talk and push the group forward. It is also the role of the leader to listen and adjust the plan based on other people’s input and ideas. Yes, extroverts can do that, but introverts were born to do it.

Click here to purchase Leadership for Introverts today!

Read the back cover here.

Leadership for Introverts book

Book: Leadership for Introverts

Leadership for Introverts

my newest book, is now available for pre-order at Amazon Kindle here.

You can also read the first two chapters for free on Smashwords.

Leadership for Introverts should be available in all major formats by May 15.

Synopsis:

It’s time for Serious Growth as an Introvert Leader.

Introverts can make Great Leaders… with the proper training.
And Now there is a book specifically for Introverts on how to do just that!
Some see introversion as a weakness, but it is not. Quiet has Power (think about those awkward silences) and it is time to embrace the Power of the Introvert. Introverts make up half the population of the world, if not more. That means extroverted leaders are not communicating properly with half the people they lead. Let’s show the world how our quiet influence can shape the future.
Learn how to draw from your well of strength so you stop getting that anxious feeling in social situations.
Explore ways to take your Introverted Leadership skills to the next level.
In “Leadership for Introverts,” Ty Belknap (having a Doctorate in Leadership) argues that it is time for quiet, unassuming people to shed the shy title, rise up and show the world the Power of Quiet.
There are hints and tips for working with extroverts, recharging in high-demand situations, and even “For Extroverts” areas to help them understand introverts more.
Whether you need help working with teams, handling social situations, leading an extroverted child, or designing a retreat that will work for both extroverts and introverts, this is the book for you.
and with sections on how introverts can master networking, marketing, and even leading extroverts, “Leadership for Introverts” will forever change the way you see yourself.
Dr. Ty shows you how the power of coaching questions can propel your leadership abilities.

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#introverts #leadership #leadershipforintroverts #quietinfluence

Motivation

The Happy Introvert

America is an extroverted country, and it is expected to attend parties. Parties are not the best way introverts can think of to spend their time, but social pressure can get the best of us at times. So, introverts will agree to go to a party, or even schedule a party at their house, then cancel at the last minute. This gives the introvert a bit of guilt, but a great deal of relief at the same time. Now they do not have to worry about what they are going to say or what to do after the first five minutes of the party.

Being a professional life coach and introvert, I have learned from my own past social mistakes. There have been many times I have cancelled at the last minute, or not shown up to a party. And I know I am not the only one, I have coached several introverts who initially felt guilty about the same thing. But every time I help them track the event to its beginning, it has been an extrovert that has pressured them into attending in the first place. It is common for introverts to not want to hurt their friend’s feelings, but it will hurt them less to say no right away than cancelling at the last minute.

So the next time you are invited to a party, ask important questions like “is there a goal or is it socializing without a purpose?” And don’t fall for extroverty stuff like “it’ll be fun!” or “it won’t be the same without you!” Yes, it will be the same without you. Be polite to your extrovert friend when you decline their invitation. And it’s totally acceptable to tell them “thank you for inviting me, but I feel like introverting tonight.” As an added bonus, they will have NO idea how to react to that.

Be sure to read my new book: Leadership for Introverts.

Tips for Aspiring Entrepreneurs

Being an entrepreneur myself, and having run a web development business for almost two decades, I have seen many ecommerce businesses come and go. And, with the statistics from the Small Business Administration that say up to 85% of all businesses have been failing within 18 months of starting, the odds are against entrepreneurs.

But there are steps entrepreneurs can take to better those odds. Start by working on your business. There are five basic questions you can answer that could make a huge difference in the success of your endeavors. They are: Why are you doing what you are doing, what are your core values, what is your mission, what is your strategic vision, and what is your strategy? Working on your business, especially when starting out, is just as important as working in your business. That is why I have created a series of free webinar/workshops (I call them Webishops) to help entrepreneurs at www.webishops.com. These Success Planning Webishops help you to answer each of those five questions.

Introvert entrepreneurs, check out www.forusintroverts.com.

Revolutionize Brainstorming

Brainstorming is a common practice in businesses, and brainstorming has come up with some amazing ideas and inventions. But there is one fundamental flaw in brainstorming: No new thoughts seem to emerge once one person comes up with a good idea. The main reason is because everyone bands together to refine and hone that one good idea into a fantastic revelation.

But what if you want several new ideas? What are good ways to keep the creative juices flowing? One way is to start the brainstorming session before everyone meets in person. Send out an email with details on the brainstorming session and allow members to submit suggestions before the session actually starts. There are a couple of benefits to this: First, it allows the introverts in the group time to think about new ideas. Introverts process internally, and too much talking while they are processing can make an introvert shut down and stop contributing during a meeting.  Sending out an email in advance will help them be more creative. Second, it gives the opportunity for more independent ideas to come forth. Rather than everyone banding together on the first good idea, it gives the opportunity for the group to look at many ideas.

Costume

I’m not Joking

Feel like nobody listens to what you say? There are three actions you can use to be taken seriously.

  1. Take others seriously (meaning: Listen). We tend to talk more when it seems like other people don’t take us seriously, spending more time explaining what we mean by what we say. One way to be taken seriously is to listen intently about what the other person is saying.
  2. Talk less. I had a client who admitted that she felt like she talked a mile a minute but never seemed to be saying anything important. Through coaching, she learned to say a lot less and get to the point quicker. By talking less, she felt she was being heard more by others.
  3. Pick a topic and stick to it. Don’t talk about four or five different topics at the same time. What may make sense to you could be very confusing to others, so stick to one topic at a time.

Combine all three of these together to become a conversationalist that people will listen to. Listen to what others are saying then respond specifically to what they are talking about. Stick to that subject, and try to stay on point with fewer words.