We all want to believe that our partner has our best intentions, but that is not always the case. Watch for these warning signs that a relationship may be toxic:
* No give and take: It’s common to want to give of yourself to the person you love, but be mindful of whether the other person is doing the same thing. If you are giving all the time, and they are taking all the time, you will soon start to resent your partner.
*The talker: We all love to hear the voice of our partner, and we want to know everything about them, but do they want to know all about you also? Does the conversation go both ways, or do they spend all their time talking about themselves? If your love talks non-stop, it could mean they have past issues that have destroyed their self-confidence.
*The rebound: Is your love with you, but has yet to break up with their last relationship? Run. If that person is dating you and another person at the same time, they have no respect for you or them. And, chances are, they will do the same to you when they get tired of you.
*Text heck: Time with your loved one is precious, but does he/she let you go (to work, see friends, etc.) without texting you 15 times an hour? This is another indicator of a lack in self-confidence by that person. Many people do this because they are afraid you will cheat on them. Unfortunately, that same person is likely to cheat on you.
Opposites attract, and that is proven when an introvert and an extrovert get together. Introverts and extroverts in a relationship have the opportunity to discuss how they relax, or recharge. Extroverts love to be in groups of people, happily talking about nothing in particular. That is how extroverts recharge their batteries. The batteries of an introvert, however, will drain very quickly in the same situation. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries.
Time alone for an introverted parent, especially when young children are involved, is very important. Let’s say there is a family with one extrovert parent and one introvert parent, which is pretty common. The extrovert parent may come home to loud, rambunctious children and fondly imagine having some alone time for a bit. The introvert parent, however, may desperately need it to stave off insanity.
Communication is important. Introverts incorrectly assume that everyone knows they need to be alone at times. And extroverts sometimes don’t understand how important it is for introverts to have alone time. Introverts need uninterrupted alone time every day, and that can be difficult when young children are involved.
If this sounds like you, carve out some alone time. Then, when your batteries are recharged, have a conversation with your partner. Find out what they need for alone time or social time with you and friends. And discuss with them how you need alone time. Find a compromise. Remember, you are in this together.
There is one thing you should know about yourself before you get into a relationship with another person: Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
This question is vitally important because, depending on the answer, it can make or break the relationship. Introverts process internally, and they need time to themselves throughout the day. Social settings tend to drain their energy. Extroverts process externally, often talking out what they think about. Alone time can be boring and energy draining, and they love being in crowds.
It does not matter whether your potential partner is the same as you; what matters is that you recognize which they are and which you are. Two introverts (or extroverts) can live a great life together. However, if you are an introvert, like me, and you happen to hit it off with an extrovert, like I did with my wife, life will take you down a wondrous journey. But the one thing that has kept our marriage together is understanding, and complimenting, the differences between us.
You may not want to hear this, but if you are with a person who refuses to talk about the future, then there is a good chance you are with a person who does not see a future with you.
It will not do any good to push them to talk about it; in fact that may make them more distant.
However, talking about the future is vitally important for a long-term relationship. Every person has their own ideas about what they want, whether it is: Jobs, vacations, personal time together, or even the house they want to live in.
But it’s not just that. The language you use, and your tone, can convey a lot. I coached a couple who got into a lively conversation about the house each wanted to live in. I had to stop myself from laughing, because they were each describing the same house, but they were not listening to each other, so their conversation kept getting more heated until I had each of them take turns. They discovered the truth once they started listening to each other.
So, don’t just talk about the future, listen to what your partner is saying. They may want exactly the same thing, but they could just be using different words.