Leadership for Introverts
my newest book, is now available for pre-order at Amazon Kindle here.
You can also read the first two chapters for free on Smashwords.
Leadership for Introverts should be available in all major formats by May 15.
It’s time for Serious Growth as an Introvert Leader.
Introverts can make Great Leaders… with the proper training.
And Now there is a book specifically for Introverts on how to do just that!
Some see introversion as a weakness, but it is not. Quiet has Power (think about those awkward silences) and it is time to embrace the Power of the Introvert. Introverts make up half the population of the world, if not more. That means extroverted leaders are not communicating properly with half the people they lead. Let’s show the world how our quiet influence can shape the future.
Learn how to draw from your well of strength so you stop getting that anxious feeling in social situations.
Explore ways to take your Introverted Leadership skills to the next level.
In “Leadership for Introverts,” Ty Belknap (having a Doctorate in Leadership) argues that it is time for quiet, unassuming people to shed the shy title, rise up and show the world the Power of Quiet.
There are hints and tips for working with extroverts, recharging in high-demand situations, and even “For Extroverts” areas to help them understand introverts more.
Whether you need help working with teams, handling social situations, leading an extroverted child, or designing a retreat that will work for both extroverts and introverts, this is the book for you.
and with sections on how introverts can master networking, marketing, and even leading extroverts, “Leadership for Introverts” will forever change the way you see yourself.
Dr. Ty shows you how the power of coaching questions can propel your leadership abilities.
#introverts #leadership #leadershipforintroverts #quietinfluence
America is an extroverted country, and it is expected to attend parties. Parties are not the best way introverts can think of to spend their time, but social pressure can get the best of us at times. So, introverts will agree to go to a party, or even schedule a party at their house, then cancel at the last minute. This gives the introvert a bit of guilt, but a great deal of relief at the same time. Now they do not have to worry about what they are going to say or what to do after the first five minutes of the party.
Being a professional life coach and introvert, I have learned from my own past social mistakes. There have been many times I have cancelled at the last minute, or not shown up to a party. And I know I am not the only one, I have coached several introverts who initially felt guilty about the same thing. But every time I help them track the event to its beginning, it has been an extrovert that has pressured them into attending in the first place. It is common for introverts to not want to hurt their friend’s feelings, but it will hurt them less to say no right away than cancelling at the last minute.
So the next time you are invited to a party, ask important questions like “is there a goal or is it socializing without a purpose?” And don’t fall for extroverty stuff like “it’ll be fun!” or “it won’t be the same without you!” Yes, it will be the same without you. Be polite to your extrovert friend when you decline their invitation. And it’s totally acceptable to tell them “thank you for inviting me, but I feel like introverting tonight.” As an added bonus, they will have NO idea how to react to that.
Being an entrepreneur myself, and having run a web development business for almost two decades, I have seen many ecommerce businesses come and go. And, with the statistics from the Small Business Administration that say up to 85% of all businesses have been failing within 18 months of starting, the odds are against entrepreneurs.
But there are steps entrepreneurs can take to better those odds. Start by working on your business. There are five basic questions you can answer that could make a huge difference in the success of your endeavors. They are: Why are you doing what you are doing, what are your core values, what is your mission, what is your strategic vision, and what is your strategy? Working on your business, especially when starting out, is just as important as working in your business. That is why I have created a series of free webinar/workshops (I call them Webishops) to help entrepreneurs at www.webishops.com. These Success Planning Webishops help you to answer each of those five questions.
A Positive Outlook
I still remember the day I had a very difficult meeting scheduled. Two people I was responsible for had miserably failed to do some important tasks and, as a result, a large project was held up. I woke up that morning dreading the day to come. I visualized the meeting being absolutely terrible, and I was sure I would be let go because of the problems.
I did not lose my job that day, but the meeting did go as bad as I had visualized.
And I realized later that I had helped to make it bad. That was one of the situations that helped me to see that my mind will work to accomplish what I think about, good or bad. Now, each morning when I wake up, I visualize my day as being a great day. I imagine the meetings I will go to being happy and productive. I see myself doing my work and enjoying it, no matter what it is. I see in my mind’s eye customers that are happy because of what I accomplished, whether I actually see them or not. There are still problems that come up, but I have noticed that I now have less stress in difficult situations. And I enjoy helping others to see positive outcomes when big problems come up. I attribute that to changing the way I see my day when I wake up.
So when you wake up each day (or right before you go to sleep), visualize a great day. What meetings will you have? Who will you see? Visualize those interactions going surprisingly well. Imagine everyone smiling and laughing, happy for the time spent together. There is nothing you can do about what happens around you, but you have the power to control how you respond.
Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, but most especially the children. No matter the age, children tend to deal with two things when parents are splitting up: Blame and powerlessness.
Teens have the tendency to blame themselves, thinking that the divorce is their fault.
And, at the same time they feel powerless because there is nothing they can do to keep their parents together. There are some things teens can do to cope with this stressful situation, however.
First, see it for how it really is, but not worse than it is.
The parents are divorcing because of their problems, not anything the teenager contributed to. You may want to blame yourself, but it is not your fault. What you can do is be there for your parents.
Take on the role of the parent while your parents are the ones acting immature.
Let them both know you still love them, especially when their decisions are rocking your world. This has an added benefit as well. There is a chemical in our brain that produces feelings of well-being called Oxytocin. It only gets released when we help other people. So, by helping your parents through this difficult time, you also may lower your stress and lower the possibility of depression. And, if nothing else, you can hold your head high knowing you did everything you could.
Feel like nobody listens to what you say? There are three actions you can use to be taken seriously.
- Take others seriously (meaning: Listen). We tend to talk more when it seems like other people don’t take us seriously, spending more time explaining what we mean by what we say. One way to be taken seriously is to listen intently about what the other person is saying.
- Talk less. I had a client who admitted that she felt like she talked a mile a minute but never seemed to be saying anything important. Through coaching, she learned to say a lot less and get to the point quicker. By talking less, she felt she was being heard more by others.
- Pick a topic and stick to it. Don’t talk about four or five different topics at the same time. What may make sense to you could be very confusing to others, so stick to one topic at a time.
Combine all three of these together to become a conversationalist that people will listen to. Listen to what others are saying then respond specifically to what they are talking about. Stick to that subject, and try to stay on point with fewer words.
Do you think your significant other is making you fat? Do you find that they “mistakenly” bring home your favorite fatty foods every time you try to go on a diet? Does it seem like, the more you try to lose weight, the more they want to go out to eat?
That may not just be your imagination. In situations like that, I would guess that your significant other is overweight as well. And, while they may not intentionally be trying to get you to gain weight, they probably are subconsciously. Some overweight people are very self-conscious of how they look, but they feel better about themselves if they are not the only one who has put on a few pounds. Your attempt to diet, however, is a stark reality for them that they are not as slim as they used to be. The response shows that they could use some emotional maturing, and counseling or coaching could help them.
Opposites attract, and that is proven when an introvert and an extrovert get together. Introverts and extroverts in a relationship have the opportunity to discuss how they relax, or recharge. Extroverts love to be in groups of people, happily talking about nothing in particular. That is how extroverts recharge their batteries. The batteries of an introvert, however, will drain very quickly in the same situation. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries.
Time alone for an introverted parent, especially when young children are involved, is very important. Let’s say there is a family with one extrovert parent and one introvert parent, which is pretty common. The extrovert parent may come home to loud, rambunctious children and fondly imagine having some alone time for a bit. The introvert parent, however, may desperately need it to stave off insanity.
Communication is important. Introverts incorrectly assume that everyone knows they need to be alone at times. And extroverts sometimes don’t understand how important it is for introverts to have alone time. Introverts need uninterrupted alone time every day, and that can be difficult when young children are involved.
If this sounds like you, carve out some alone time. Then, when your batteries are recharged, have a conversation with your partner. Find out what they need for alone time or social time with you and friends. And discuss with them how you need alone time. Find a compromise. Remember, you are in this together.
The best thing I ever did to help grow my business was to start working on my business in a consistent manner.
We work in our businesses every day. Without that, we wouldn’t be in business. But, a ship going fast in the wrong direction will not reach its target. Being busy just for the sake of filling up your day probably will not make you successful. Working on the business is just as important, if not more so, than working in the business.
I would say a minimum of 5% of your work week should be devoted to working in your business.
In fact, I feel this is so important that I have created five videos on how to successfully work in your business. You can find them, for free, by going to www.webishops.com and clicking on Success Planning. I started my coaching practice in 2015, but did not implement consistently working on my business until 2016, and it made a huge difference in the success of my practice.
But this isn’t just for businesses. Working “ON” is important for leadership, personal development, and pretty much every are of your life.
Large meeting are a great way to get noticed, in both good and bad ways.
There may be the easy going extrovert, happily pumping hands and making connections. The extrovert will be leaning forward in his chair, ready for an exchange of ideas to take place. Then there may be the introvert, backed against a wall, afraid someone will talk to them because they have no idea what they will say back. When the meeting actually starts, which usually takes a year or two, the introvert will sink into his chair, hoping he won’t be called upon. Too much external stimulation makes introverts shut down, but there are things that can be done when a quiet person needs to get his voice heard.
Try to get ahold of the meeting schedule beforehand. Or, send an email to the person who scheduled the meeting to see if you can get an idea of the topics that will be covered. As an introvert, you can use that information to plan ahead what you will talk about. And, since introverts process internally, this will give you time to come up with good ideas. The added benefit is that you will also feel (a bit) more comfortable during the meeting.
And keep a lookout for the #leadershipforintrovertsbook due out soon! Keep updated at www.leadershipintroverts.com.