Therapist or Coach?

Counseling, or therapy, has been around a long time. It has gotten a bad reputation at times, but is very beneficial for people wanting to heal from past trauma.

However, with so many “coaches” coming out of the woodwork these days, how do you decide whether to hire a therapist or a coach? And how to you know if you are hiring a professional?

There is one main difference between therapy and coaching. Therapy helps to heal a person from the past and coaching helps people toward a better tomorrow. In either case, the person you hire needs to be more committed to your mental health than they are toward their profit margins. There are therapists and coaches out there that count on you coming back, with debit card in hand, consistently. A professional counselor/coach will help you develop techniques so you can start to help yourself. If you are working with a professional who is not helping you to develop your own coping skills, it might be time to ditch them and look for someone new.

Determining if a therapist is a professional is not too difficult; counseling certificates are controlled by the government. A person cannot call themselves a professional counselor without holding valid certificates. That is not the case with coaches, however, so do your homework. Make sure any coach you hire is certified or, even better, has degrees in coaching. The best scenario will be a coach who has both.

Finding a good coach is a bit less expensive than finding a good therapist. Most professional coaches offer a free first session. This is a benefit to both of you. You don’t have to shell out a lot of money before determining if they can help you, and it gives both of you a chance to see if your personalities mesh.

Things to consider before getting back together w/ your ex

The quote “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is very true of relationships.

And sometimes it is even true of broken relationships. We tend to forget about the things that helped cause the end of the relationship and concentrate on the things that made us fall in love. So, the best question to ask before getting back together with your ex is: What’s changed? What has changed in the other person that makes you feel that they will not do the behaviors they did before? And, what has changed in you that will help convince the other person that they will not go back into the same broken relationship as before? What can you do, for your part, to have a better 2.0 relationship? What expectations do you have for the other person?
One difficult thing to do would be to sit down and honestly list all the reasons why the relationship ended. Then, ask yourself if you can live with those things now, even if nothing were to change. Remember, you cannot do anything to change another person, you can only change yourself.

How Do you Navigate Tricky Workplace Politics?

Workplace politics are inevitable.

No matter what you try, there will be a point when they come knocking at your door. There is one sure-fire way to get around these politics: Stick to your values. Do not do anything that feels uncomfortable to you. If you find yourself in a situation where it feels like your face is on fire because you have been put into an uncomfortable situation, go to your boss and ask for help. However, if it is your boss that is causing it, can you go to their boss? If not, this may not be the right place for you to work. It may be time to brush up your resume and look for a place that has core values similar to yours.
And remember to go to www.webishops.com, under Success Planning, to watch a video on finding your core values if you need help.

Compliments for Guys

Hey girls, want to make your guy fall in love with you all over again? Here are some compliments that will help!

*Help me: This sounds weird, but men are natural fixers. They want to help, so don’t be afraid to ask for it. And when you ask for help you are telling him you trust him to fix whatever is wrong.

*You were great last night: Even the most confident man wonders how he is in bed. If you are with a man that does well in that area, compliment him on it. The more you compliment him, the more enthusiastic he will be.

*Such a big… brain: All men know a lot about something, even if it is sports. You may not like sports, but it certainly won’t hurt to compliment him on his knowledge. It will make him feel better, and his buddies will be jealous that he has such a cool partner.

*Eye candy: Compliment your guy on his clothes, even if you help him pick them out. Let him know you think he looks great (as long as he does). He will love you more for it, and appreciate your help (even if he tries to act manly and brush it off).

Action Steps

The word “goals” almost makes your chest tighten and stress levels rise.

The knowledge of so many past goals that have failed may even lower your self-confidence.

So stop making goals.

Create a vision for your future instead. What do you want to be able to say/do/feel about yourself that you cannot say/do/feel now? Get as specific as you can. Don’t just say “I want to lose weight,” nobody likes to lose anyway. Turn it to a positive, like “I want to be able to fit into size ** jeans,” or “I want to eat 2 healthy meals a day and work out 3 days a week.” Don’t make your vision out of reach.
After you have your vision down, create action steps. What is one small thing you can change now to get one step closer to your vision? Is it changing one junk food snack into something healthier? Is it planning a 10 minute workout once a week? Start small. All the past failures may have eroded your confidence. Small successes will help to build it back up.
And if it doesn’t work, don’t consider it a failure. Figure out what went wrong, what you can do to overcome that, and try again. As long as you keep trying, you are not failing.

Perfect is the bane of good enough

We all like to have things just right.

But perfection is the bane of good enough. It is almost impossible for anything to be perfect, so ask yourself why you are obsessing over things that others may not even notice. If you are trying to impress someone, is perfection worth the stress it creates? Or do you intentionally nit-pick everything so you can avoid certain people that show up? What is behind the perfectionism? What would life look like if you did not have the need to make everything perfect? Would it ruin your day; or would it actually give you the chance to relax and enjoy it more?

Leadership for Introverts book

Book: Leadership for Introverts

Leadership for Introverts

my newest book, is now available for pre-order at Amazon Kindle here.

You can also read the first two chapters for free on Smashwords.

Leadership for Introverts should be available in all major formats by May 15.

Synopsis:

It’s time for Serious Growth as an Introvert Leader.

Introverts can make Great Leaders… with the proper training.
And Now there is a book specifically for Introverts on how to do just that!
Some see introversion as a weakness, but it is not. Quiet has Power (think about those awkward silences) and it is time to embrace the Power of the Introvert. Introverts make up half the population of the world, if not more. That means extroverted leaders are not communicating properly with half the people they lead. Let’s show the world how our quiet influence can shape the future.
Learn how to draw from your well of strength so you stop getting that anxious feeling in social situations.
Explore ways to take your Introverted Leadership skills to the next level.
In “Leadership for Introverts,” Ty Belknap (having a Doctorate in Leadership) argues that it is time for quiet, unassuming people to shed the shy title, rise up and show the world the Power of Quiet.
There are hints and tips for working with extroverts, recharging in high-demand situations, and even “For Extroverts” areas to help them understand introverts more.
Whether you need help working with teams, handling social situations, leading an extroverted child, or designing a retreat that will work for both extroverts and introverts, this is the book for you.
and with sections on how introverts can master networking, marketing, and even leading extroverts, “Leadership for Introverts” will forever change the way you see yourself.
Dr. Ty shows you how the power of coaching questions can propel your leadership abilities.

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#introverts #leadership #leadershipforintroverts #quietinfluence

Motivation

The Happy Introvert

America is an extroverted country, and it is expected to attend parties. Parties are not the best way introverts can think of to spend their time, but social pressure can get the best of us at times. So, introverts will agree to go to a party, or even schedule a party at their house, then cancel at the last minute. This gives the introvert a bit of guilt, but a great deal of relief at the same time. Now they do not have to worry about what they are going to say or what to do after the first five minutes of the party.

Being a professional life coach and introvert, I have learned from my own past social mistakes. There have been many times I have cancelled at the last minute, or not shown up to a party. And I know I am not the only one, I have coached several introverts who initially felt guilty about the same thing. But every time I help them track the event to its beginning, it has been an extrovert that has pressured them into attending in the first place. It is common for introverts to not want to hurt their friend’s feelings, but it will hurt them less to say no right away than cancelling at the last minute.

So the next time you are invited to a party, ask important questions like “is there a goal or is it socializing without a purpose?” And don’t fall for extroverty stuff like “it’ll be fun!” or “it won’t be the same without you!” Yes, it will be the same without you. Be polite to your extrovert friend when you decline their invitation. And it’s totally acceptable to tell them “thank you for inviting me, but I feel like introverting tonight.” As an added bonus, they will have NO idea how to react to that.

Be sure to read my new book: Leadership for Introverts.

Tips for Aspiring Entrepreneurs

Being an entrepreneur myself, and having run a web development business for almost two decades, I have seen many ecommerce businesses come and go. And, with the statistics from the Small Business Administration that say up to 85% of all businesses have been failing within 18 months of starting, the odds are against entrepreneurs.

But there are steps entrepreneurs can take to better those odds. Start by working on your business. There are five basic questions you can answer that could make a huge difference in the success of your endeavors. They are: Why are you doing what you are doing, what are your core values, what is your mission, what is your strategic vision, and what is your strategy? Working on your business, especially when starting out, is just as important as working in your business. That is why I have created a series of free webinar/workshops (I call them Webishops) to help entrepreneurs at www.webishops.com. These Success Planning Webishops help you to answer each of those five questions.

Introvert entrepreneurs, check out www.forusintroverts.com.

Shaking hands

Every Day Can Be A Great Day

A Positive Outlook

I still remember the day I had a very difficult meeting scheduled. Two people I was responsible for had miserably failed to do some important tasks and, as a result, a large project was held up. I woke up that morning dreading the day to come. I visualized the meeting being absolutely terrible, and I was sure I would be let go because of the problems.

I did not lose my job that day, but the meeting did go as bad as I had visualized.

And I realized later that I had helped to make it bad. That was one of the situations that helped me to see that my mind will work to accomplish what I think about, good or bad. Now, each morning when I wake up, I visualize my day as being a great day. I imagine the meetings I will go to being happy and productive. I see myself doing my work and enjoying it, no matter what it is. I see in my mind’s eye customers that are happy because of what I accomplished, whether I actually see them or not. There are still problems that come up, but I have noticed that I now have less stress in difficult situations. And I enjoy helping others to see positive outcomes when big problems come up. I attribute that to changing the way I see my day when I wake up.

So when you wake up each day (or right before you go to sleep), visualize a great day. What meetings will you have? Who will you see? Visualize those interactions going surprisingly well. Imagine everyone smiling and laughing, happy for the time spent together. There is nothing you can do about what happens around you, but you have the power to control how you respond.