Things We Don’t Talk About With Children

Reasons to talk about finances with children

Money is a top reason for divorce, or so some say. But that is not really accurate. It’s not money, but proper communication about money that causes strife in relationships. Help create a better future for your child by talking about finances with them now. The more comfortable they see how you are in discussing financial issues, the more comfortable they will be with their future spouse.

Budgeting is a subject that is not even taught in school, but it is a very important tool to learn. Teach your kids how to budget, and they may gain more respect for you at the same time. Open your books to them; let them see just how much money it costs to have a house, cars, insurance, etc. It will help them to understand the sacrifices you make for their future.

I’m Sorry

Saying sorry is a sign of maturity. If you are with a person that never says they are sorry, it could be a sign they are immature.

And that can hurt a relationship. A person who never says sorry will sometimes ignore attempts to communicate by the other person and distance themselves. Then, after some time has passed, they will act like nothing is wrong. But that does not solve the situation, it just fosters resentment.
If this is you, work on saying sorry, even in situations that were not your fault. Is it more important to be right, or to be in a loving relationship? Show your significant other that you love them by giving up your right to be right.

Therapist or Coach?

Counseling, or therapy, has been around a long time. It has gotten a bad reputation at times, but is very beneficial for people wanting to heal from past trauma.

However, with so many “coaches” coming out of the woodwork these days, how do you decide whether to hire a therapist or a coach? And how to you know if you are hiring a professional?

There is one main difference between therapy and coaching. Therapy helps to heal a person from the past and coaching helps people toward a better tomorrow. In either case, the person you hire needs to be more committed to your mental health than they are toward their profit margins. There are therapists and coaches out there that count on you coming back, with debit card in hand, consistently. A professional counselor/coach will help you develop techniques so you can start to help yourself. If you are working with a professional who is not helping you to develop your own coping skills, it might be time to ditch them and look for someone new.

Determining if a therapist is a professional is not too difficult; counseling certificates are controlled by the government. A person cannot call themselves a professional counselor without holding valid certificates. That is not the case with coaches, however, so do your homework. Make sure any coach you hire is certified or, even better, has degrees in coaching. The best scenario will be a coach who has both.

Finding a good coach is a bit less expensive than finding a good therapist. Most professional coaches offer a free first session. This is a benefit to both of you. You don’t have to shell out a lot of money before determining if they can help you, and it gives both of you a chance to see if your personalities mesh.

Things to consider before getting back together w/ your ex

The quote “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is very true of relationships.

And sometimes it is even true of broken relationships. We tend to forget about the things that helped cause the end of the relationship and concentrate on the things that made us fall in love. So, the best question to ask before getting back together with your ex is: What’s changed? What has changed in the other person that makes you feel that they will not do the behaviors they did before? And, what has changed in you that will help convince the other person that they will not go back into the same broken relationship as before? What can you do, for your part, to have a better 2.0 relationship? What expectations do you have for the other person?
One difficult thing to do would be to sit down and honestly list all the reasons why the relationship ended. Then, ask yourself if you can live with those things now, even if nothing were to change. Remember, you cannot do anything to change another person, you can only change yourself.

Compliments for Guys

Hey girls, want to make your guy fall in love with you all over again? Here are some compliments that will help!

*Help me: This sounds weird, but men are natural fixers. They want to help, so don’t be afraid to ask for it. And when you ask for help you are telling him you trust him to fix whatever is wrong.

*You were great last night: Even the most confident man wonders how he is in bed. If you are with a man that does well in that area, compliment him on it. The more you compliment him, the more enthusiastic he will be.

*Such a big… brain: All men know a lot about something, even if it is sports. You may not like sports, but it certainly won’t hurt to compliment him on his knowledge. It will make him feel better, and his buddies will be jealous that he has such a cool partner.

*Eye candy: Compliment your guy on his clothes, even if you help him pick them out. Let him know you think he looks great (as long as he does). He will love you more for it, and appreciate your help (even if he tries to act manly and brush it off).

Action Steps

The word “goals” almost makes your chest tighten and stress levels rise.

The knowledge of so many past goals that have failed may even lower your self-confidence.

So stop making goals.

Create a vision for your future instead. What do you want to be able to say/do/feel about yourself that you cannot say/do/feel now? Get as specific as you can. Don’t just say “I want to lose weight,” nobody likes to lose anyway. Turn it to a positive, like “I want to be able to fit into size ** jeans,” or “I want to eat 2 healthy meals a day and work out 3 days a week.” Don’t make your vision out of reach.
After you have your vision down, create action steps. What is one small thing you can change now to get one step closer to your vision? Is it changing one junk food snack into something healthier? Is it planning a 10 minute workout once a week? Start small. All the past failures may have eroded your confidence. Small successes will help to build it back up.
And if it doesn’t work, don’t consider it a failure. Figure out what went wrong, what you can do to overcome that, and try again. As long as you keep trying, you are not failing.

Perfect is the bane of good enough

We all like to have things just right.

But perfection is the bane of good enough. It is almost impossible for anything to be perfect, so ask yourself why you are obsessing over things that others may not even notice. If you are trying to impress someone, is perfection worth the stress it creates? Or do you intentionally nit-pick everything so you can avoid certain people that show up? What is behind the perfectionism? What would life look like if you did not have the need to make everything perfect? Would it ruin your day; or would it actually give you the chance to relax and enjoy it more?

Book: Leadership for Introverts

Leadership for Introverts

my newest book, is now available for pre-order at Amazon Kindle here.

You can also read the first two chapters for free on Smashwords.

Leadership for Introverts should be available in all major formats by May 15.

Synopsis:

It’s time for Serious Growth as an Introvert Leader.

Introverts can make Great Leaders… with the proper training.
And Now there is a book specifically for Introverts on how to do just that!
Some see introversion as a weakness, but it is not. Quiet has Power (think about those awkward silences) and it is time to embrace the Power of the Introvert. Introverts make up half the population of the world, if not more. That means extroverted leaders are not communicating properly with half the people they lead. Let’s show the world how our quiet influence can shape the future.
Learn how to draw from your well of strength so you stop getting that anxious feeling in social situations.
Explore ways to take your Introverted Leadership skills to the next level.
In “Leadership for Introverts,” Ty Belknap (having a Doctorate in Leadership) argues that it is time for quiet, unassuming people to shed the shy title, rise up and show the world the Power of Quiet.
There are hints and tips for working with extroverts, recharging in high-demand situations, and even “For Extroverts” areas to help them understand introverts more.
Whether you need help working with teams, handling social situations, leading an extroverted child, or designing a retreat that will work for both extroverts and introverts, this is the book for you.
and with sections on how introverts can master networking, marketing, and even leading extroverts, “Leadership for Introverts” will forever change the way you see yourself.
Dr. Ty shows you how the power of coaching questions can propel your leadership abilities.

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Tips for Aspiring Entrepreneurs

Being an entrepreneur myself, and having run a web development business for almost two decades, I have seen many ecommerce businesses come and go. And, with the statistics from the Small Business Administration that say up to 85% of all businesses have been failing within 18 months of starting, the odds are against entrepreneurs.

Introvert entrepreneurs, check out www.forusintroverts.com.