We are all tempted to say things in the heat of the moment that we know we should not say.
Our feelings are hurt, and we want the other person to know how hurt we are. But lashing out at the other person will only make the situation worse. It will quickly change a heated discussion into an argument, and nobody wins an argument.
There is one trick that can diffuse an argument before it even starts. It’s the “I hear…” defense. When someone gets angry and lashes out, respond with something like “I hear that you are upset.” They may agree and lash out again. A great response could be “you seem very upset by that.” What you are doing is acknowledging their anger without feeding it. In fact, this defense usually calms the other person down because they have no more fuel for their fire. Then, once they are calm, you can start to present your side of the case. This defense will take time to master, but will make you a great negotiator whether it is in your marriage, a business deal, or with relatives over the holiday table.
Being in love is amazing; there is no better feeling in the world.
We feel like we are walking on air when we are in love, and it seems like there is nothing that we won’t do for that special person. Being in love means we are putting the needs of our partner before ourselves, but we are bombarded every day with the idea that it is more important to think of ourselves first. If you think about, we are conditioned to look out for “number one.” In school we are rewarded for getting better grades than others. And in business we are rewarded with promotions for working better or smarter than others. But love is self-sacrificing; and it is completely opposite of what we learn everywhere else.
The secret to a long lasting relationship is to never forget that love does not answer the question “what will you do for me,” but the question “what can I do for you?” Sometimes that means giving up your rights. You may have worked a long day, and you have the right to sit down in front of the tv and relax. But that answers the wrong question. Get up, do the dishes, do the laundry, help your partner. And don’t worry about what they will do for you. The more you sacrifice for them, the more they will eventually want to sacrifice for you. That is love.
Getting involved in a new relationship whether it is professional or intimate can be intimidating and stressful, especially for introverts. . . trying to decide what to say and how to successfully navigate small talk may cause so much stress that an introvert may shut down. Even extroverts can struggle with this at times.
A couple who has hit rock bottom can benefit from a relationship coach to help them find positivity in his or her partner.
A majority of issues in most relationships occur due to miscommunication or communication gaps. A relationship coach can coach and train people for better communication, which helps to bring in greater tolerance in the relationships.
Read more here, or contact me today to help you have better, deeper relationships.