Teenage girl sad

Teens: When Your Parents Divorce

 

Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, but most especially the children. No matter the age, children tend to deal with two things when parents are splitting up: Blame and powerlessness.

Teens have the tendency to blame themselves, thinking that the divorce is their fault.

And, at the same time they feel powerless because there is nothing they can do to keep their parents together.  There are some things teens can do to cope with this stressful situation, however.

First, see it for how it really is, but not worse than it is.

The parents are divorcing because of their problems, not anything the teenager contributed to. You may want to blame yourself, but it is not your fault. What you can do is be there for your parents.

Take on the role of the parent while your parents are the ones acting immature.

Let them both know you still love them, especially when their decisions are rocking your world. This has an added benefit as well. There is a chemical in our brain that produces feelings of well-being called Oxytocin. It only gets released when we help other people. So, by helping your parents through this difficult time, you also may lower your stress and lower the possibility of depression. And, if nothing else, you can hold your head high knowing you did everything you could.

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Does Your Teenager Have An Allowance?

Every parent wants their children to be successful, and we have a tendency to help, even financially, a bit too much.

As children become adults, they need to learn how to be financially independent. That starts with communication. Sit your child down and open your books to them. They will probably be surprised at how much money it costs to run a family. As you show them your numbers, show them how to start budgeting for themselves. Help them set up their own bank accounts if they do not currently have one, and help them to budget how much money they would need to save for rent, food, and necessities. Even if they can’t afford it all now, it gives them a plan and action steps to work toward.