Things to consider before getting back together w/ your ex

The quote “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is very true of relationships.

And sometimes it is even true of broken relationships. We tend to forget about the things that helped cause the end of the relationship and concentrate on the things that made us fall in love. So, the best question to ask before getting back together with your ex is: What’s changed? What has changed in the other person that makes you feel that they will not do the behaviors they did before? And, what has changed in you that will help convince the other person that they will not go back into the same broken relationship as before? What can you do, for your part, to have a better 2.0 relationship? What expectations do you have for the other person?
One difficult thing to do would be to sit down and honestly list all the reasons why the relationship ended. Then, ask yourself if you can live with those things now, even if nothing were to change. Remember, you cannot do anything to change another person, you can only change yourself.

Teens: When Your Parents Divorce

 

Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, but most especially the children. No matter the age, children tend to deal with two things when parents are splitting up: Blame and powerlessness.

Teens have the tendency to blame themselves, thinking that the divorce is their fault.

And, at the same time they feel powerless because there is nothing they can do to keep their parents together.  There are some things teens can do to cope with this stressful situation, however.

First, see it for how it really is, but not worse than it is.

The parents are divorcing because of their problems, not anything the teenager contributed to. You may want to blame yourself, but it is not your fault. What you can do is be there for your parents.

Take on the role of the parent while your parents are the ones acting immature.

Let them both know you still love them, especially when their decisions are rocking your world. This has an added benefit as well. There is a chemical in our brain that produces feelings of well-being called Oxytocin. It only gets released when we help other people. So, by helping your parents through this difficult time, you also may lower your stress and lower the possibility of depression. And, if nothing else, you can hold your head high knowing you did everything you could.